Whiplash of Shame

God, I just read a blog from a guy who, like, is leading us all to salvation in the nicest way possible. In the meantime, I'm selfishly indulging my every written whim.
The whiplash of shame! I apply it! Crack, slash, bam!
Even that is self-indulgent.
Ah, glutton, glutton, come OUT!
I should have been born a King.